An Idaho Photographer/Counselor’s Guide to Planning Your Wedding: A Value Based Guide
I am both a photographer and a licensed counselor. As I started my photography business and watched it grow, I did my best to keep these worlds separate. At times it has been necessary and important. But I realized that by keeping these worlds entirely separate, I was doing a disservice to my photography clients. I was not providing them with the full package of all the ways that I could serve them. This isn’t me trying to be your counselor. This is me using the knowledge and experience that I have because I am a counselor to better serve couples as they are planning their weddings.
Disclaimer - this post is not a substitute for counseling, it is simply education. If you feel you need counseling support please find a counselor that works for you.
Identify your values and priorities
This is a value based guide so I’m going to keep coming back to this theme. Starting by identifying your shared values will help you to stay on the same page and make decisions that are right for you as a couple. This could include values like family, intimacy, memories, simplicity, authenticity and others. Another way to think about values is to consider what you prioritize. Here is a link that may help you narrow down what matters most.
After identifying your values, consider your goals for your wedding. What you want it to be like, who you want to be there. Connecting your goals to values will give you both direction and an anchor when planning starts to become overwhelming.
2. Make a Budget based on your values (not on what other people say you should do)
Budget seems to have become a dirty word in the wedding industry. Vendors don’t want to be called budget because it means that their work isn’t quality. Or that people aren’t hiring them for their art. Myself included. But “budget” shouldn’t be a dirty word when you plan your wedding. When I say budget in this context, I am saying to look at what your priorities are and plan accordingly. If you care most about the food then spend more on food. If you care less about the venue then spend less on the venue. If you care most about photography, then spend more on photography. For most people who are getting married, the sky is not the limit when it comes to the budget. But that doesn’t mean you need to sacrifice quality. It just means you need to be intentional about where you spend your money.
3. Look for vendors who share your values and show them in both their words and actions
Once you have identified your values and you’ve made a budget based on those values, it becomes easier to choose vendors that not only care about what you care about, but also better fit your budget. Maybe you connect to the value of authenticity and choose to go with a more documentary style photographer to capture candid moments. Or perhaps you value connection and best connect with your family over a meal so you choose a caterer that can provide a family style meal. There is so much room for creativity. The way that each couple will connect to their values is different. Through a value based approach to wedding planning, each couple will be able to hire the vendors who most closely align with what they care about. Check out this blog for more guidance on questions to ask your photographer to know if they’re the right fit for you.
4. Plan your day according to values
Your wedding day can look however you want it to. I realize this can be both liberating and overwhelming. So I’ll say it again - come back to your values. Knowing your values will help you determine how to spend your time and what kind of wedding you have. If you value family or quality time, then maybe you choose to have a small wedding so that you can have more time with the people who are closest to you. Or maybe it means that you have a more traditional wedding and take family photos before the ceremony so that you can go straight into the reception after. If you value intimacy, maybe you plan an elopement. Or with a more traditional wedding, you plan to get ready together and have time after the ceremony for just the two of you. There are so many ways to incorporate what you value most in both the type of celebration you choose and through all of the related details.
I’m not going to try to convince you that I am right for you. I’m going to ask if my values match yours. I’d love to talk to you more about what you value for your wedding/elopement and how we can bring these values to life. Let’s talk.